after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
