take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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