i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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