You're completely useless in the revolution.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize