Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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