his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
