I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
