It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
