what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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