If that was your dad, he is hot
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
