people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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