Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
