Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize