Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
