Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
