Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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