He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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