even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
