I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
