She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
