my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
