So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
