My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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