guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
