thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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