NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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