She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
