Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Houston, we have a squirter
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
