Pappa wants mamma naked
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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