You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
