just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
