that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
