Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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