Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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