All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
