Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
