i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
