i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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