Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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