You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
