i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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