I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
