Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
