Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
