I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your penis caused this!
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