ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
