things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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