oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
