I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
