Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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