operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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