She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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