Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
