im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
