Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
