Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
