I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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