Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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