I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
