waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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