you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
